I haven't done a blog in since February due to the reasons mentioned above and
I have found that things here have gotten into a routine making harder to find inspiration and inability to write on a public piece of cyberspace. But sitting here in the park I thought I would take a moment in the peace and beauty that I have found myself in today, to write a little to do an update with my Blackberry.
For awhile it has seemed like nothing has been accomplished, which really is not the case at all. As I now see by visiting this blog I see that we are getting something accomplished.
The clinic is so close to being ready to open. the electric service finally got hooked up. Its floors have been put in. The place has been cleaned and primed and is ready for paint. Basco has made a new antibacterial paint which is supposed to kill bacteria and reduce the spread of disease for the life of the product. We were able to purchase this paint at a discount making it the cost of normal paint, as a charity from the company.
I am hoping within the next few weeks and with the arrival of a part for the paint sprayer that I will be able to get the place painted, and let the doctor move in and start setting up.
With help from Jeff the director we welded up a trellis that will have bougainvilleas growing over it to create a shaded sitting area.
The downstairs dorm is being lived in by the twelve older boys, Ray a missionary from PA and myself.
It wasn't easy to move the boys in. It was actually a maddening rush to make it happen in the time table that was presented. given a week before a team arrived I was made aware that we would have to be in, there wasn't much sleep that week. I was determined to get the boys room painted before setting up their new beds. Its still the only room that has been painted.
There is electricity, but no running water due to the fact that there is nowhere for the waste to go.
I have been looking into a waste water treatment solution that will manage this building and the future expansion for our growing population of at the time of writing is 135 children!
Its been difficult for these big boys, who are really little guys 6 years to 13 being the oldest, to make it outside in the dark to go to the latrine. Most of them fear walking outside at night, making it a challenge for these boys and us to keep the place clean and well kept.
As I have spent sometime in disappointment seeing a year's worth of sweat end up as a toilet. (Its not that bad and we do clean often but its a personal opinion and exaggeration).
I have come to understand that it doesn't matter how much light is shining in the darkness of night, the fear is still there.
I have to see the same correlation in the spiritual realm of things. We are all children of he creator of all things, heirs of his kingdom, given the light of Christ to illuminate our way, yet how often do we still fear? Just a side thought to think about.
I struggle with a response to people who say that I am doing great work. Personally I do not feel like its me who does the work but rather God who does it through me, because I'm a great person, I think not. I am far from perfect and have an abundance of sin that I fight daily.
Over the past few weeks I have really had my eyes opened to the fact that I'm still pretty selfish and need work more at removing I, me, my, mine from my vocabulary. This is a difficult thing to do even more so in written word as I see while writing this. We can't help but be selfish in our flesh. We have wants and desires, which ARE NOT wrong, in themselves. But become a stumbling block, when we are willing to sin to fulfill them. Which then makes them idols or false gods in our live and in turn separates us from God or your higher power if you don't call Him that.
In myself I was unable to leave life in America and leave behind family and friends, the people that I love. In leaving all of that I have found even more love for those left behind and even more of those that are here. The more love that is present the less I, me, my mine there is. With the absence of self the universe unfolds and great things begin to happen. Its not easy to step out into the light that's shining in the shadow of night, but with everyone and everything around you, you will find that you are not alone in your fear. You are not as different from others as you once thought. We are all pieces of the whole, we build each other up when we work together and we destroy when we work against.
